Mistakes
by Warriorofgeese1112
Summary: It's been 7 years since the Titans were eradicated, but the effects of the conflict, and the scars it has left, are still very much alive. Rated M for strong language and graphic themes. Cover image not mine.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 : Memories

Armin Arlert lumbered into his office, he was completely drained from the practice that day, even though the Titans had been eradicated, the Survey Corps still had to practice on the titan dummies that the man knew to well from his training 10 years ago.

"_Why must we still do these stupid training exercises!_" He thought to himself, but then he remembered, "_Oh yeah, it's under the orders of Queen Tiny_."

The mere thought of her brought anger to him, it had been 6 years since what happened, and he still had not forgiven her. He didn't think she had forgiven him either, but he didn't care, she could hate him all she wanted, it didn't change the fact he was right about what happened.

What made his fatigue even worse was the absolute mountain of paperwork he had to fill out, he sometimes considered not doing it just to annoy her, but she would probably turn the scouting legion into the plumbing legion, he'd probably still have to do all the paperwork for that too.

He thought once he became commander he would be done with all this crap, but he couldn't have been more wrong. It had seemed that, despite the titans being wiped out, the survey corps' work had almost doubled, he couldn't help but feel that by giving him more work, this was Historia's way of torturing him.

He gave a grumpy sigh, got up from his bed and went over to his desk. As he sat down he bumped into the bookcase behind his desk, causing a large book to fall on his head.

"Gah, fuck!" He shrieked, looking down on the book that hit him, "Since when did I have books this big?" He remembered when he saw what it was, though.

It was a photo album which for the life of him he couldn't remember where it came from. For some reason he had put it on the top shelf for him to forget, but he couldn't remember why, so he decided to look through it, after all it gave him an excuse not to do work.

The first picture was of the whole 104th on an off day, Sasha was attempting to steal Connie's food, Jean was looking at Mikasa, Mikasa was looking at Eren, Armin was playing chess with Annie, Ymir and Krista were chatting and Marco, Bertolt and Reiner were playing poker, Reiner and Bertolt were neck and neck whilst Marco had half as much chips as the others.

He was amazed at how much he had changed since those days, his lanky body was now much more broad and useful, his height had gone from 5'4 to 5'10 and his hair now reached shoulder length and had to be tied back during missions and training.

The rest of the pictures were similar, and brought back good memories to Armin, he smiled to himself as he flicked through the rest of the pages. However, his smile faded and he stopped flicking through the pages as he came across one picture, it was taken just after they got the news that they had won against the titans, it contained everyone who was left after the war, the happiness on everyone's faces was unbelievable, considering that they had lost almost everything in the conflict.

His dismay came not from the moment it was taken, nor the picture itself, it came from the person he was with, Historia. They were in each others arms, Armin was picking her up and they were looking at each other smiling, the picture was taken right before they kissed. He remembered now, the album was given to them when they were together as a two year anniversary gift, how he had it was unknown to him.

He looked at it in utter distraught, sweat began to poor down his forehead, a million thoughts ran through his mind, how many pictures of them were there? Why do I have this? Does _she_ know about it? What should I do with it?

He knew one thing though, he had to get rid of it. He was going to throw it away, but as he he was about to get up someone knocked on the door.

"Come in!" He called.

The door opened to reveal a person slightly younger than Armin, she was one of the recruits who joined a few years after Armin did. She had auburn hair green eyes, and stood a few inches below Armin. He recognised her and began to start trying to match a name with a face.

"_I want to say... Karen?_" He thought to himself.

The young woman sat down at his desk and proceeded to explain her presence.

"A few weeks ago I sent in a form for a leave of absence," She explained, slightly nervously, " I just came to check it had come through."

"I'll check right now," Armin replied, "May I have your name?"

"Karen Karess." She answered.

"_Oh fuck yeah! I was right!_" He thought, "_Commander Arlert 1, rest of the survey corps 0!_"

He looked through the files in a cabinet with his back to his guest, it was because of this that he didn't see her reach across the table for the photo album and begin observing the picture on the current page.

He went through the files looking for her name, oblivious to what was going on behind him.

_Montes... Marrant... Lester... Lambert... Keeves... Kirigaya... Karess!_

He removed the file from the cabinet and began to look through it.

"Who's the girl?" A voice came from behind him.

At that point Armin knew he had made a mistake.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 : Recompense of the fallen

The question rung in Armin's mind like an echo, no one new of the relationship he had with her except the people who were around back then. Even so, the only people who were still around were Hitch, Connie and Mikasa, Jean wasn't even a scout anymore, Sasha left to take care of her and Connie's children and Annie and Eren weren't with them anymore. The thought of telling someone about his relationship with her seemed horrific, he only knew one way to deal with the situation.

"Well it seems your form did come through, so, if you would please leave that would be great." He replied, trying to sound as cheery as possible, he only hoped she would oblige.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me!" The red headed girl demanded. Armin's kindness took over, forcing him to not shout at her.

Armin knew he had two ways of playing this situation, on one hand he could lie, on the other hand however, he could tell the truth. He saw no benefits in the latter so he decided to lie.

"She's my wife," Armin lied, trying to sound as convincing as possible, he hoped it would divert any questions.

"Commander Arlert, you're not married." The young woman countered, Armin knew now he would have to tell the truth.

"Shit, I knew you wouldn't fall for that!"

"Please sir!" She pleaded, "Please tell me!"

"Very well," Armin sighed, "You've probably heard of her, her name is Historia Reiss, me and her were togeth..."

"Holy shit Commander! You mean the queen!"

"Yes."

"Holy Crap," She cursed, mouth open wide, "Did you two... you know?"

"I'm confused, did you want the story or something to think about in the shower?" Armin joked, Karen's facial expression suddenly changed, "I had no idea you were on that side of the fence."

"I'll have the story." She murmured disappointedly.

"Good... We met during training, we started dating before she came to power, when we were eighteen. We broke up when we were twenty and we haven't talked for six years, that's all you need to know."

"B-b-but there has to be more of a story to it?"

"Yes, there is, but as I said, that's all you need to know. Now, will you please leave."

"Well I guess that makes sense,"

"Huh?"

"Well, she must have dumped you. And you found it embarrassing," Armin looked at her quizzically, "It would also explain why you always call her mean nicknames."

"You're wrong, she didn't dump me. On another note, what nicknames?"

"Queen Tiny, Mistress Minuet, Lady Little, Princess Pint-Sized and sometimes just Bitch."

Armin smiled, "Yeah, that sounds like me. Now leave."

"I-i-i have more questions!"

"Go ahead then."

"Who's the horse?"

Armin immediately erupted into a tremendous pile of laughter, almost crying of it. Karen looked at him confused and disturbed, she had never seen her commander laughing and now that she had, she wished she hadn't. His laugh was so disturbingly feminine. Once he had finished his laughing fit he began to answer the girl's question.

"You might know him as Commander Jean Kirstein of the military police!" Armin giggled.

Karen stared at him in utter horror.

"P-p-p-please don't tell him I said that."

"Oh yeah," Armin giggled again, "You're the one that looks at him weirdly, aren't you?"

Karen began to blush wildly, "What!? I-I-I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Yes you do. Anymore questions?"

"Y-y-yes," She replied, eager to change the subject. "Who's the boy who looks really pissed?"

Armin's facial expression completely changed because of the question, so much so that the whole atmosphere in the room completely changed.

"He was my best friend, I'd known him since I was a child," Armin explained solemnly. "If you ever heard rumours of a survey corps member who could turn into a titan, that was him. After we defeated the titans he became really distant, he would hardly ever talk and when he did, he sounded really depressed. Everyone else waved it off as some sort of phase, but I knew it was more than that. I should've done something, if I did, he might still be with us, because one day, Mikasa went into his room, to find that he had hung himself. In the note, he said that he needed to kill every last titan, the last one being him."

"I-I-I'm so sorry," She whimpered, solemnly. "But I have one more question,"

"What is it?" Armin growled.

"Who's the small girl with the weird no..."

"Get out," Growled Armin.

"Huh?"

"I said; GET OUT! And if you tell anyone about this conversation, I'll tear you in half and feed you to Lieutenant Ackerman. Understood?" Armin bellowed, pure rage in his voice.

She looked into his face and saw pure hatred and rage, the dread that came from her merely mentioning that girl was unbelievable, she nodded and began to leave. She did not argue with her superior this time.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 : Control

Two weeks later...

She sighed grumpily, every day was the same, wake up, sit down and listen to other people's demands, agree or disagree with them, sleep and then repeat. However, today was different, but not for the better. Every month or so her servant, Kimbar; a man of 40 with greasy long hair, a scruffy beard and the facial structure of a rat, would select a random snobby noble man to give an excessively long lecture on why he'd be a suitable husband to her. She hated it and only enjoyed these days for the satisfaction she got from putting them down after their speech, every speech seemed awful after she'd been spoilt by someone else's, she'd fall for his speeches any day. She knew the only reason Kimbar did this was because he was sexist and didn't think a woman could run the country on her own. It was ironic really, she had control over the country, but no control over her own life.

"Your highness?" The snobby noble, emitted.

"Alright, let me get a few things straight," She replied, now intending to blow off the annoying brat, she didn't even know his name, all she knew is that she wanted someone else, "Never in a million years will I say yes, but for your benefit I'll tell you why. You're wearing more makeup than I am, you haven't got hair you've got overly large pubes and your sweat problem is worse than Kimbar's. I'm serious, I can smell you over Kimbar, and he's closer to me!"

"Your highness I believe you shou..." Kimbar interrupted, hoping to stop the queen's rant.

"Can it Kimbar!" Historia shouted eager to get rid of the person infront of her. She turned to him, "Now get out of my sight before I get the survey corps to do head hunting on your pathetic family!"

The young man immediately left, a jumbling mess of fear and disappointment. Historia smiled after he left, she was glad to be rid of the idiot, she hated everyone in the palace. Now the only person to be rid of was Kimbar, instead of dismissing him she decided just to leave, he didn't deserve the courtesy of manners, she hated him the most of all of them.

When she returned to her quarters she sat down and stared out the window towards the horizon, she wished she could be with the survey corps, with him. She knew couldn't be with them though, and she knew he still hadn't forgiven her after what happened.

"It's my fault I'm not with you, Armin." She thought to herself. "I hope you can forgive me."

Since the Titans had been eradicated she had gained a new fear, death. Years ago she would have accepted dying in a titan's mouth, but since they had been gone, she was afraid of dying in her now pointless existence.

Suddenly, a survey corps member burst through the door, panting. Her auburn hair in tangles and black marks under her green eyes, it was evident that she had been traveling for a few days.

"T-t-they found the ocean!" The girl panted, bending over with hands on knees.

"They did!" Historia exclaimed, in complete shock.

"Yes," The girl paused to catch her breath, "The commander said; that if you wanted to come it would be fine."

"Tell him I accept the invitation."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 : The dream of a broken mind

Two days later.

He stared at the large expanse of water ahead of him. Although it wasn't the first time he'd seen it, it felt the same. It baffled him, the fact that the very reason he was still here, that the only thing that he had ever dreamed for, everything he had strived for, was in front of him.

Despite this however, his attention was diverted to a woman, taller than him, standing a few meters to his left. She was crying into her scarf, Armin watched her. They'd all been through a lot, but Armin knew it was worse for her, she hadn't uttered a single word since Eren died, she was only a shell of wasted kombat ability now. Armin felt sorry for her, to have a loved one just suddenly die like that. At least when he and Historia split up he knew she was still there, that she was safe wherever she was.

"It's okay," Armin spoke softly to her, she turned to him. "Eren wouldn't have wanted you to cry, he would of wanted you to think of him, to hold him close to your heart no matter what. He wouldn't have left us, left you, if he didn't think it was right. He would've wanted you to have a better life, than constantly wonder whether you take your life too. He sacrificed his dreams, his life, his friends... his love, for the greater good, he'd get mad at you if you would have wished he hadn't. Do what he would've done... have fun."

Mikasa looked towards the ocean, smiled and whispered something to herself before moving towards the ocean. Armin smiled, he was glad he had said that, it also freed his guilt over not having Eren here with him, it felt like he had somehow dishonoured their pact, by not having him here, but now he felt as if he was honouring it by being here himself. For a brief moment, it almost felt like he was still there with him, but this soon faded when an auburn haired girl collapsed to his right, breathing heavily.

She slowly sat up and began to glare at Armin, "You!" She growled, "You made me go all the way to Central and back, ALONE!"

"That's what you get for being nosey," Armin chuckled.

"Fuck you."

"Did you deliver the messages?"

"Yes," She panted, "A team is coming with provisions to build a settlement and central knows of the ocean."

"Good."

"I also delivered delivered an extra message."

"What?"

"I invited the queen."

Armin stared at her in complete horror, he could not comprehend what the girl had done. He knew the results of this would be catastrophic, and he knew that the young woman in front of him had made a big mistake.

"YOU DID WHAT!?" Armin shouted, the girl began to laugh maniacally. "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"

"Because," She grinned, "It's what you get for being nosey. Also I think you two should get back together."

Armin still glared at her angrily.

"You two make a really cute couple, also word around is she's looking for a husband, maybe you coul..." She noticed her commander's fist clench, "Okay, I'm going to be going now," She said quickly, "She'll be here in a few da..." A large amount of sand was thrown at her before she could finish the sentence.

Armin looked around looking for some sort of out from the current situation. Hope came when he saw Connie not far from him.

"CAPTAIN SPRINGER!" Armin bellowed, grasping his comrade's attention.

"What is it?" Connie responded.

"What do you think of it?" Armin growled.

"The ocean?" Armin nodded. "It's amazing commander, would've been better if my wife and kids were here though."

"Do you want to go back and get her?" Armin suggested, still agitated.

"I could?" Connie said, in disbelief.

"Yeah, if you promise to get back in one to two days, and have something which will take up all the attention."

"I don't follow sir." Connie inquired.

"We'll be having guests, guests who I am not in the mood to talk to." Armin explained, on edge.

"Okay commander, I'll be back in a few days."

And with that Connie disappeared to prepare his horse for travel, eager to see his wife again. Armin led back on the sand, staring at the sky, scared of what could happen when she arrived, unsure what to do. He only knew one thing, the girl who brought her hear needed to pay. In his head he plotted schemes to get back at her, but was soon interrupted by a different woman's voice.

"Commander?" The woman inquired, attempting to gain her superior's attention.

"Hitch!" Armin growled, he hated her, he had no idea why, he just hated her. He thought it was probably because she had something to do with Annie's return, but he hated her before that. "You have ten seconds to explain yourself before I use you as an experiment to see if there's land somewhere in the ocean!"

"I-I-I was thinking..."

"You can do that! Colour me impressed, Hitch Dreyse can think!"

"Commander!" Armin kept giggling, Hitch sighed angrily. "Can you at least say why you hate me so much?"

"You want the list?" Hitch began to frown. "Well... You joined the bitch brigade, you transferred to the scouts and brought your bitch brigade bitchyness to the survey corps, you didn't transfer back to the bitch brigade when the new commander took over, you got Annie out of the crystal..."

"Are you done?" Hitch asked, now looking depressed.

"Oh, and your name rhymes with, and is one letter away from, bitch," Armin added, looking pleased with himself. "Actually, now that I mention him," Armin looked over to the girl he had used as a messenger. "HEY, SECOND WORST COURIER EVER! GET OVER HERE!"

The puzzled girl quickly stumbled towards her superior, tripping on the sand slightly as she walked. She did not however, walk fast, she knew she was about to be punished for the message she added to her excursion to the inner walls, she was extremely frightened of her commander, she'd seen what he could do when he was angry.

"W-w-w-w-what is it?" She asked nervously.

"Did you deliver my message to the Military Police?"

"N-n-no, w-w-why?"

"Oh, it's nothing, I just would have insisted that Commander Kirchstein to come."

"Oh, if I knew I would have told them."

Armin now glared at her, "It wasn't your first mistake." Armin growled maniacally.

Four days later...

He looked out at the large expanse of water infront of him, he had been near it for the past eight days, but now in the early morning light, it was the most beautiful he had seen it so far. The early morning light bouncing off of the waves appealed to Armin, the blue of the ocean had become Armin's favourite colours, although he was drawn to the colour before seeing the ocean. When he thought of the ocean he always imagined it to be this colour, a colour he had seen countless times before, but every time he saw it, it gave him a new feeling entirely.

However, his train of thought was interrupted by a familiar voice behind him, "It really is beautiful."

The sudden voice greatly startled Armin, making him fall from his sitting position to lying sideways. From this he turned around, it was then that he saw her. Her long blonde hair was tied in it's usual way but was decorated by a single purple flower.

She was wearing a elegant pink dress with white frills.

The young woman giggled, "Six years and you're still the jumpiest person ever."

"_Damn it, she looks good, why does she have to look good, should I compliment her? No that would be tacky. Actually, since when do you wear clothes like that to the beach,_" Armin's thoughts halted, "_I've been here 8 days and I'm already deciding fashion, smooth Armin._"

Armin merely sat there staring, wordlessly.

Historia giggled again, "Your own dream and you can't say anything."

Armin suddenly awoke from his sleep, remembering his dream. He rubbed his eyes and looked around the dark room, he quickly found that he was in his office, he must have fallen asleep whilst doing paperwork. He made his way over to the blinds and opened them slightly, letting small beams of light into the room, illuminating the whole office.

He was making his way back to his desk when suddenly someone knocked on the door. Armin's stomach sank, it was today, the day he had been dreading all week had come, and he wasn't prepared.

"Well," Armin sighed, "I guess it's Kirchstime."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 : You reap what you sow

Armin stood in his office, hand on the door knob, "Who is it?" He asked, mocking his guest.

"You know who it is!" The other man growled from the other side of the door, "If you don't open up I'll tell the queen that..."

"The survey corps is pointless and needs to be disbanded?" Armin interrupted, "You just so have happened to have used that a few times. It really doesn't work too well, plus you know what she's like, she'll keep us here for nostalgia reasons."

"Open the fucking door Arlert!"

Armin opened the door.

"What troubles you my majestic stallion?" Armin joked, trying his best to anger his childhood friend.

Jean glared at him, "You'll address me as Commander Kirchstein and you will pay me respect!"

"Pay? I spent all my respect on a..."

"Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up!" Jean bellowed.

"Okay, okay, jeez. I think anyone can see the grumpy guts in the office." Jean growled at him, he still towered over Armin, and kept the same hair style he obtained after they defeated the God Titan.

Once they had both sat down the tension in the room had eased, what proceeded was an awkward silence which had lasted at least a minute. The taller of the men looked around for something to start talking about, but this was to no avail. Salvation finally came for him when he looked at the man across the table from him.

"Did you cut your hair?" He asked, almost pleading to end the silence.

"Yes," Armin replied, smiling to himself, "I saw a few old photos and decided it looked better this way, in other news, do you want a drink?"

Jean stared at the bronze liquid that the other man had offered him. He sighed, "Really Armin, whiskey?"

Armin looked at him quizzically, he stared down a this drink and then back at Jean. "This is apple juice."

Appalled by his correction, Jean stopped trying to make conversation. What came next was another awkward silence lasting even longer than the last. During this time, Jean began to look around, the office had a fairly simple layout, there were filing cabinets across the wall of the right side of the room, whilst the left side of the room was occupied by a blackboard. Said blackboard was decorated with various doodles, most of which Jean couldn't even begin to understand, most however, were about Titans. Some of which were incredibly strange, for example; there was a statement reading: what if Titans had laser eyes, which was accompanied by a picture of a Titan shooting lasers from it's eyes. Others however, were just plain insanity, an example of this was a picture of a strawberry with arms and legs, accompanied by the label: Norwejams!

Armin quickly interrupted Jean's ogling, "Well, I'm guessing you didn't come to talk about juice and my hair. So, what's up!"

"They're saying you're not fit to be commander." Jean said sternly.

"Go on." Armin urged.

"The official report said that you are an insane madman, who's an unreliable idiot and a danger to the country." Jean spoke, solemnly.

"Where did you get this _report _from?" Armin asked calmly.

"The monthly meeting."

"How come I'm not invited?" Armin exclaimed, sounding insulted.

"You are... But you never come!" Jean paused, "That's probably where the unreliable part comes from!"

Armin chuckled, "I think I'm fine. Historia adores the survey corps and knows you can't get shit done, so she has no choice but to leave me here."

"Historia might offer a way out, you know?" Armin perked up and to quizzically stare at Jean, "You see, if you and her were to get back together, then you'd technically be a royal, and then you'd be untouchable!"

"Courting someone for your own personal gains? That's manipulative." Armin responded.

"Manipulative? Two words, Annie Leonhardt." Jean exclaimed sternly.

Armin immediately stood up, rage filling his eyes. He pointed to the door, "Please relocate yourself from my office right now." Jean shot him a confused glance. Armin responded to this, "You said the forbidden words, now leave!"

Jean wouldn't budge, causing Armin to move towards the door and open it for him.

Jean sighed and began to slowly make his way to the door. "You're pathetic, you try to mask and cover up your mistakes, rather than face them, you're a coward, and you don't deserve your position!"

With that, Jean left, and Armin immediately slammed the door behind him and collapsed upon it. He brought the palm of his face and groaned.

"He's right."


End file.
